Please don't kill my vibe.
Do you have that person, or group of people, that leave you feeling drained?
People who appear to thrive on drama and bringing others down?
Are these people subtly undermining your sense of growth and happiness?
This was something I used to struggle with for years. Whether it be at work, with my friends, or my family, I would let myself be hijacked by the negative emotions and energy around me. As a result, I often wound up feeling down about my work, I doubted my own dreams and abilities, and I found myself engaging in conversations that kept me playing small rather than those that inspired me to take bold action.
In a nut-shell I wasn’t being responsible for the energy I was giving and receiving. It wasn’t until I faced this responsibility head on that I was able protect myself from the negativity around me.
So, what can you do to protect yourself from other’s negativity?
Most people will tell you to stop hanging out with negative types, but what if this person is someone you can’t avoid - a colleague, a sibling, an old friend? From my experience, the question isn’t how to get rid of them, it’s about how we can better manage our own responses?
Here are five practical tools and mindset shifts you can start using today, to manage how you respond to negative vibes:
Don’t take it personally
What people say and do is coloured by their own beliefs and fears, not yours. When people point out the negatives, or seemingly belittle you or those around them, recognise it as useful information around what they are internally trying to deal with, rather than seeing it as the reality of your life and current experiences.
If you notice a reaction stirring within, from what others are saying or doing, stop and ask yourself what’s really going on here? What is this reaction telling you about yourself and your needs? Is what they’re saying connecting with a deeper desire or limiting belief of your own that needs to be addressed?
Don’t feed the negativity
It’s so easy to get pulled into gossiping and complaining, however choosing to feed the negativity is a negative pattern of your own. So, cut it out – if you don’t like the energy others are bringing to a situation, shift it towards something more positive and empowering.
Take time to re-charge
After being around someone who drains you, instead of jumping straight into your next activity or calling someone to complain about the horrible experience you just had, give yourself 5-10minutes to clear your head. Take a walk, read a book, meditate…anything that helps you decompress and process your thoughts rather than reacting to them.
Choose your time wisely
If this person, or group of people, really affects how you feel, be aware of how you spend your time with them. If the time spent with them is compromising your energy, consider ways you can change the situation to suit your needs.
I hope this finds you well,